How to Make Good Decisions

Deciding whether to order dessert, change careers, or choose between candidates in an election can be overwhelming. It's easy to feel paralyzed by the pressure of making the “perfect” decision.

Weighing choices, especially in today’s flood of news, social media, ads, and opinions, can lead to decision fatigue. Recent research has found that decision-making stress is taking a toll on our lives, contributing to increased anxiety, missed opportunities, and unnecessary expenses.

“Fear of mistakes keeps us anxious and stuck, but there is tremendous power in taking action and choosing,” says Kelli Harding, MD, an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at Columbia.

“No decision is perfect, and every choice made offers an opportunity for learning and growth.”

Dr. Harding’s expertise has given her insights into what drives indecision and how to make choices more effectively.

Why Decision-Making Can Be So Tough

Whether you’re facing a minor choice or a major life decision, feeling stuck can be frustrating. Here are some reasons why:

• Fear of failure: The anxiety of making a mistake can lead to procrastination and shake your confidence. Aiming for perfectionism in our choices tends to create excess worry and paralysis.
• Mental health conditions: ADHD, depression, anxiety, PTSD, and Alzheimer’s disease can contribute to indecision due to issues with memory and focus.
• Aboulomania: Severe indecisiveness can interfere with daily life, leading to obsessive thoughts about choices.

“You don’t have to struggle with feeling stuck alone,” Dr. Harding says. “Consider teaming up with a professional to learn tools and strategies for more peace of mind.”

Strategies for Better Decision-Making

Based on her work with patients, Dr. Harding shares advice on making decisions with more comfort and confidence:

• Take a step back: Clarity often comes when we stop thinking intensely about a situation and create some mental space. Try taking a shower or bath, going for a walk outside or in nature, or just sitting in silence. Stress relief activities, like exercise or mindfulness, can also help manage decision-related anxiety.
• Consider a new perspective: Imagine a friend is in your situation, and you’re a coach giving them advice; what would you tell them? You could also ask a friend or trusted advisor for their opinion on the decision you’re making. This may also reveal any personal biases or emotions that may have been influencing your own thoughts.
• Ask at bedtime: Before going to sleep, ask your subconscious to give you an answer to your decision in the morning. Sleep and dreams can help us solve problems.
• Write it out: Take a piece of paper and write your thoughts on the topic for 15 minutes. You may find you want to repeat this process as you work towards a decision.
• Set a Deadline: Combat procrastination by setting a clear timeframe for your decision. A deadline can help you stay focused and take action. Keep in mind that if we wait too long to make a decision, we might never get a chance to decide at all.

In addition to these strategies, practice self-compassion. Be kind to yourself and recognize that feeling stuck is a normal experience. Embracing a positive mindset can help you deal with uncertainty.

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Kelli Harding, MD, is an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at Columbia.